And lo, Noah told Jehovah his USB stick was too small to store all the species “even with mad compression.”
“Just do it, Noah.”
(Source: elfboi)
(Source: machinegnome)
"When you first realize that you are surrounded by crazy people, it may seem frightening. In a civilization of outpatients, insanity can be viewed as the only defense. The planet Earth is your asylum; take the opportunity to explore and enjoy your own craziness."
Zen without Zen Masters, Camden Benares (via sebbymoron)
(Source: cumqra)
"‘But we can’t be free, until we learn to laugh at ourselves. Once you look in the mirror and see just how foolish we can be, laughter is inevitable. And from laughter comes wisdom…’"
G’Kar (via iseesigils)
Drill Sergeant VS Flying Spaghetti Monster
Drill Sergeant: “Private Griffith – is that some contraband?”
Me: “No, Drill Sergeant. It’s my holy book.“
Drill Sergeant: “Give that to me…” *Yoink!* “Flying Spaghetti Monster!? What the fuck?”
Me: ”I’m a Pastafarian, Drill Sergeant.”
[he shot me a look like he was t minus 5 seconds from throwing me into the Sun]
Drill Sergeant: “Are you fucking with me? Are you fucking with me at 0600, Private Griffith? Before I even get some goddamned breakfast?”
[I did my best to return the intensely humorless stone face.]
Me: “No, Drill Sergeant.”
Drill Sergeant: “Flying Spaghetti Monster!? I don’t fucking believe it!!!”
Me: “I believe it, Drill Sergeant.”
Drill Sergeant: “What the hell is wrong with you, warrior?”
[I went for broke]
Me: “Drill Sergeant, I’m afraid I can’t really talk to you about this any further unless I’m in my religious clothing. I need to be in full pirate regalia, or at the very least wearing an eye patch.”
pfv urgente
People start arguing about words, their mostly arguing about whether the words that they apply to the objects they created out of the infinity of possible objects that could be put together if you pick up a few of them. Then they put words on them, then they quarrel about the words. Then they get to a state where their willing to kill eachother over the words.
- Robert Anton Wilson
"Discordia is not a religion; it’s a mental disorder. One you choose."
(Source: shittime)
(Source: americanbookofthedead)
